So Maggie went straight up to Heaven:
She arrived at a quarter past seven.
St Peter said, ‘Blimey! You’re early,
What brings you to the gates that are pearly?’
Thatcher grimaced at his rude behaviour:
‘Don’t you know I’m a national saviour?
Where’s your master?’ she snapped with a sneer,
‘He’ll confirm I’ve a right to be here!’

God looked up from his white grand piano,
‘You lost that when you sank the Belgrano!
Pete here has been checking your record –
Where there was harmony, you brought only discord.
But Mephisto’s dead keen to adopt you,
So in the end, I’m afraid we just swapped you!’

‘Swapped me?’ cried Thatcher, ‘for whom?’
‘Well,’ soothed God, ‘just so you know,
He’s a charming Venezuelan called Hugo…

April 2013



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