BRITS 2015


Lines Written on the Tragic Nosedive of American Popular Singer Madonna in old London Town, after McGonagall

‘Twas at the 2015 Brit Awards
That the brightest and best talent met to cross swords.
A galaxy of musical artistes had come there to gather, …
Ignoring Jimmy Carr and his tiresome old blather.
S Smith, P Faith, Kanye, T Cobbley and all –
Dressed to the nines, and obviously out for a ball.
But the ceremony was to be blessed with one special honour:
A rare live appearance of the legend that was Madonna.
Anticipation was high, and so was the stage
For a woman always determined not to act her age.
Her career had been one interminable saga
Although lately eclipsed by the great Lady Gaga.
As she commenced her act in a long flowing cloak
She undid the cord, without which she would choke
But alas! A sharp tug from behind made her trip
And she sank even faster than that Titanic ship.
Before jumping up with aplomb and great timing
Even though some critics said she was probably miming.
Had she been drinking? The crowd was half-pissed –
Or done it on purpose, winked conspiracy theorists.
Whatever the truth, Madge’s unseemly tumble
Overshadowed all news of the PM’s latest fumble.
Since it’s often been said Pride precedes a fall,
My advice to the Material Girl: next time, wear a shawl instead.


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